With a Little Help From my Friends…

What would you think if I sang out of tune

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

And I’ll try not to sing out of key

To say that this past week has been difficult would be a bit of an understatement. For the kind of crippling anxiety that used to plague me regularly to come roaring back after an almost 5 year absence was disconcerting at best – terrifying at worst.

And I felt alone.

Utterly. Alone.

Acutely aware of the fact that I’m single, and that means that, no matter what people say, ultimately, there’s no one to lean on.

Make no mistake, I am perfectly happy with being single. I am not the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship to be happy. On the contrary – I’m actually pretty cranky, persnickety, and difficult to live with, so it’s probably for the best.

But when life becomes overwhelming and you’re reminded, through the angry/emotional words of someone you love, that when the rubber hits the road, you actually are all alone….

Woah.

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends

I have really, really good friends.

Actually, I have great friends.

This is one of the things I’ve had to remind myself of this past week, when I’ve felt more alone than I ever have….that I have amazing friends.

I have amazing friends, and I’m NOT going to listen to the thought that says, “yeah, well, most of your army friends ditched you when you left, and almost all the rest left when you came out.”   I’m not going to listen to the voice that says, “yeah, well, where are your friends when…..”

I’m not going to listen.

I’m going to read the emails I get daily from sweet, gentle Antonia in Spain.

I’m going to go pick up my mail and allow myself to be wrapped in a hug by unshakable, caring Patty Craig.

I’m going to laugh and chat with  my loving, wise Maggie, who encourages all my crazy creativity.

I’m going to sing at choir.

And dance at the theatre.

And attempt to accept the natural changes and flow of friendship. Circumstances change, people change, and I’m learning to be comfortable with that, making friends where I am in life. I am moving on, as have those who were cherished friends, but have now become memories.

So when that voice whispers in my ear that I’m alone….

I’ll do what I did this afternoon.

I’ll go connect.

Get a hug.

Have a chat.

And remember that I’m not *really* alone.

And even though I might not have anyone to help me with the really hard stuff, I do have people who will listen, who have been there, and who will love me just because of, and sometimes in spite of, who I am.

And that’s enough.

What do I do when my love is away?

(Does it worry you to be alone?)

How do I feel by the end of the day?

(Are you sad because you’re on your own?)

No I get by with a little help from my friends

Mm I get high with a little help from my friends

Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends

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One thought on “With a Little Help From my Friends…

  1. There is a family by blood….you didn’t choose them. Then, there is the family you create … a loving, supportive family, some of whom we deem “by blood” but the rest are beloved friends who stand with you no matter what.

    Like

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